Alphabet of Change

By Sanah Singh Tomar - Performance Coach at Maynard Leigh India 13th September 2018

By the time you finish reading this sentence, time would have changed!

Change surrounds us and it exists in different forms everywhere. We have experienced all kinds of change since we were born and should be familiar with its nature, yet when faced with change…the majority of us view it as challenging and difficult. 

What makes change difficult? 

Big or small, change means exploring something different. It demands that we stop doing something we have been doing and start doing something new. It could almost mean…. stop being a caterpillar in the cocoon, spread your beautiful wings and start to fly!! Sounds so idealistic and simple, right? Yet the process and pain of this conversion is what’s not welcome. I don’t know whether the caterpillar actually experiences any pain during the conversion or is it just an assumption. Similarly does all change cause pain or is it just some level of varying discomfort? Yes!! With change comes discomfort….the great discomfort of not knowing what lies ahead. Thank God, we had no such thoughts in the womb…otherwise taking birth would have become a fearful challenge. Having said that we have clearly established that change is a part of life from the beginning to the end. What then allows one person to manoeuvre effectively and the other to crash and burn is really some fundamentals. Change could really be a CHANCE at being better in so many ways. Let’s unearth The ABCD of it all. 

A for ACCEPT

Most change makes us feel so victimized that we absolutely lose sight of the first step. We fight it and we grieve about it. It makes us sad and mad. We resist it and we want to get out of it and constantly wonder “Why me? It’s Human… very human is all I want to say. Feel it, express it and live with it…. but only for a while. Know in your mind how many hours/days you want for that feeling to exist and then start counting backwards 10,9,8,7….. 

At 1 is the day you accept your situation for whatever it is and from that day on… waste no more energy looking backward. The day you accept, is the first step in the direction of the positive shift. It all begins with accepting the situation. IT IS WHAT IT IS!!! 

B for BELIEF 

Before you make the change and when the change is happening …..There are several voices communicating within you (sometimes contradictory voices). The one that you pay attention to and focus on either becomes your strength or weakness. Question your beliefs around change. Are they beliefs that are functional for you or dysfunctional? Let me share two of my positive beliefs around change. 

Belief no.1 - Change will help me learn and grow: Irrespective of the fact whether the change works in my favor or not, I know for sure that I will learn and eventually grow. 

Belief no.2 - I have managed changed before and I will do it again. We have made it through in the past, haven’t we?

Increasing the volume of the functional belief system and muting the dysfunctional (change is difficult/uncomfortable or I don’t have any more strength to make it happen) makes your resolve for change stronger. It also helps to believe that the next change is just around the corner and to be prepared and brace oneself for it is all we can hope to do. 

C for CLARITY 

Never before in the history of the world do we have the information and support to manage change as we do now. The discomfort as mentioned before is with the UNKNOWN. If we are scared to lose our jobs, get clarity now on what the truth is. There are thought leaders, articles, websites and organizations to support the change that is impending. 

Gaining clarity can help us prepare for what lies ahead. It can make the change easier than what it initially seems like. One baby step at a time…. seek help, information and support to move in the right direction. You will be surprised when you truly start seeking, how doors begin to open….sending the right person and opportunity to get you through.

D for DON’T GIVE UP

This is a big one!!! Especially when you are getting rid of a bad habit or fighting an Illness or grieving a loss. You try and you fail and you try again and you fail some more. This is what breaks our spirit. We try to build and then another blow. We get up and dust and then another push into the sand. The failing breaks the strongest but inside it's slowly and silently creating a stronger you. It’s when inside a boxing ring the player is lying bleeding and finds the courage and strength to get up one last time that makes him the champion irrespective of the fact whether he wins or loses the match. The one who can keep going has better chances at coming out of the long dark tunnel. So, building a character that can accept failure and still move on is victory like no other.

To have the attitude of looking up at the dark night sky… smiling and saying “Let’s see who wins this time” is half the battle won.

“The only way to make sense of change is to plunge into it, move with it and join the dance” - Alan W Watts

Bring it on!!

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